24 April 2009

5 Things That Are, Well... Things

There sometimes comes a time in this blog where I can't think of a subject weighty enough to fill an entry up on its own. That isn't to say many of my previous writings were on noble, worthy subjects that warranted my amateurish treatment; but at least they offered me the chance to get past a few sentences. Usually at these times my co-writer and business partner Andy takes up the slack with his own, often sweary blogs. And then there are times like these, when neither of us has a great deal to say. It then falls to me to resort to listing a number of minor points, in essence the first things that pop into my balding head.

I read somewhere it was a good idea to include lists in your blog, as these prove popular with visitors. Having no overriding theme to link together such a list, I have simply opted to talk about five things that are, er... things. And so, in particular order of interest or relevance: -

1) Druridge Bay, Northumberland

I've written the pre-amble above in one fluid motion. Your experience reading this will be seamless, unlike my efforts in writing it. A full 30 minutes have elapsed between the end of the introduction and the first point, not the best start. Already I'm thinking of changing the number of points from five to three... The one saving grace is that as I write I am sitting on several miles of golden sand on the Northumberland coast. Not all at once you understand, my arse isn't that big.

Quite why, on a warm sunny day, I am one of about twenty people on a beach that stretches for several miles is a puzzle. And why, of these twenty, seven have chosen to set up camp right next to me and boot a football around inches from my head is also confusing. Over half a million people live within an hour of this beautiful coastline, yet it is all but deserted.

The Northumberland coast is undervisited, beautiful and accessible. With miles of sand, studded with coastal castles and small market towns, it truly is a gorgeous part of the world. But hang on, my beach companions have unleashed a crate of Stella Artois. This is England.


2) New World Wine

Being an Englishman it is my wont to drift into a diatribe of moaning. Whether I'm at a sun drenched beauty spot or not. My focus of this rant is the penchant in this country to embrace the wines of Australia and New Zealand with such passion. Call your new wine Kookaburra Ridge Mountain or Wombat Creek and you'll be guaranteed sales. But for the most part they are awful, and I've tried a lot. Perhaps there are a good deal of complex, light and fruity wines that hail from these countries. But they don't make it here.

I read once that in the UK, a survey was carried out which asked the public to sample and give a preference for several red wines. The unanimous winner was sweet white Liebfraumilch mixed with red food colouring. Obviously the tasters didn't know what they were drinking, but that was their favourite. Seemingly the wine producers of the new world seized on these statistics and produced a series of heavy, industrial strength wines with sweetness akin to blackcurrant cordial. Guaranteed to give you a bad head, these aberrations come from some of the most popular and most advertised wine houses. What the customers of these grape abusers would make of a real wine I have no idea.

France, the most famous producer of wine in the world, has stepped up its efforts and there are amazing bargains to be had, if only people would look. I asked a Frenchman once what he thought of Australian wine. 'Ca existe' was his reply, 'It exists'. Pompous yes, but the best way to describe it.


3) A Little Reward

There are constantly stories in the press about government initiatives to make us behave the way we should, particularly in regards to the environment. These measures could be made so much more successful if every one didn't involve a proposal to fine or charge people for not doing what they want. Imagine the take up for recycling if people received a small council tax rebate at Christmas for doing it. Or if drivers could leave their cars at home and use a clean, efficient public transport system. All we seem to know how to do is disincentivise and fine, giving the excuse to any knockers that these are just revenue generating measures. Which they probably are.


4) Accentuate the Positives

I am aware that I am giving off the impression that I am an irrepressible moaner. In many ways that is absolutely right. But I also have a capacity to feel pleased, indeed 'lucky', when things aren't quite as bad as they first seem. On a recent trip to Scotland, my expensive Sony camera decided not to work anymore. I had purchased it 11 months before for a hefty fee, and I now no longer had a receipt or knew where I bought it. Well, I got it at Stansted airport, but that wasn't going to get me very far.

On my return, I had a letter from Curry's explaining my warranty on the camera would soon expire and did I want to pay for an extended one. Instantly, where and when I bought it together with proof of purchase had dropped into my lap. I was left feeling very lucky, as my broken camera situation could be resolved with one trip to a grim, crowded retail part and a half hour discussion with a spotty teenage member of staff. A far better feeling than had it just not broken in the first place.

5) Total Policing?

The Police have recently undertaken a poster campaign across the country, with large messages displayed at many bus stops and advertising hoardings. I've seen these large fonts and forceful messages in Newcastle, Manchester and and Glasgow in the past fortnight and am still at a loss as to their purpose. One simply declares, 'ANYTHING YOU SAY MAY BE TAKEN IN EVIDENCE'. Anything? A conversation in my car or if I talk in my sleep?

Either the communications office of the police has never read 1984, or they regard Orwell's looming vision as some type of blueprint for law and order. I better not expand further, as anything I say is being taken in evidence. Of what, I don't know.

So there it is. And now I am off to relocate as my young beachside intruders have lit a barbeque and I am shrouded in choking smoke. The joys of the English countryside...

3 comments:

  1. Hi Matt,

    I love your work and most of your takes on things. I first picked up your tweets a couple of months ago stumbling across your Magpies pic. My Dad is a geordie and I'm sure he'd love it hung on his wall! Some of your use of energy and connectedness in your art reminds me a bit of Alex Gray's stuff but I feel a bit more vigour in your use of colours.
    Enough brown-nosing. In reference to your 'accentuate the positives' point. I would be more than happy if Joe Bloggs public made his choices on the basis of the environmental benefits they would bring without the need for financial incentive or disincentive to comply. While I do see a gradual greening of the nation's thoughts and behaviours, there is a big chunk of society that doesn't give a shit and is sufficiently out of the educational loop and exposed to the wrong kind of media to reflect on their attitudes and behaviours let alone their existence and the strain being placed on mother nature. Our local paper in Devon, short of anything better to report on, made a big thing about the council fining a woman who knowingly threw all her rubbish into her recycling box. Although I wish there was a more progressive approach, the example was made and it proved quite effective in the recycling stats of a particular community. A shift in conciousness would be more desirable of course and my Scandiavian friends laugh at our inability to make some simple, better choices but until we can get away from profit and loss driven attitudes with regards product design, advertising and consumption, I think fines might be with us for a while.

    take it easy and keep up the funky pictures :)

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  2. Don't worry James, your brown-nosing is indirect. That painting was by my dad, Stephen Warnes. Most of the work featured on this blog is by him or other artists hosted on our site.

    I agree with your point about fining people who abuse the system. But a balanced approach would involve punishment and reward. Its so much easier to become involved in something with an incentive, rather than the drudgery of acting a certian way otherwise it will cost you.

    If a small council tax rebate given around Christmas for those who are good at recycling, people's attitudes would be a lot more positive. People would enjoy doing it knowing there is a reward, and may even start to think seriously about other behaviours that can benefit the environment.

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  3. Hi Matt. Yeah I think it would be nice to reward rather than punish too. I like your idea about rewarding at Christmas and the idea of a more altruistic system that recognises and promotes positive behaviour instead of the perception we might have of some paper-pushing busybodies generating revenue with fines and remote condemnation. I guess the key is getting the right ideas into people's behaviours at schools and in the workplace and naturalise broader, intelligent thinking rather than just preparing people for office jobs which the education system seems to do at the moment. Having said that, my old dear is a teacher and she tells me that kids are exposed to a lot more environmental and social awareness stuff now than 10 years ago which is heartening.
    Maybe my point was that I am a bit disappointed that people need reminding one way or another to reflect a bit more on the impact their bahaviour has, especially now as we approach critical points in the world's consumption of resources. Maybe the people who really fall through the system and end up with fines or community service could be made to spend time with a volunteer organisation or charity which works on environmental or social concerns to help wake them up a bit!

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